How to make change stick

Right now, millions of people are trying to change their lives. 

But they’re using a surface-level approach that rarely lasts beyond January.

They set goals, write plans, and work to “be more disciplined.”

They promise themselves they’ll “really do it this time.”

Most of us already know this doesn’t work. But why not?

It’s not because people lack willpower or don’t want the change badly enough.

It’s because change won’t last if the operator remains the same.

You can’t change outcomes without changing the inner architecture that creates those outcomes.

Traditional New Year’s Resolutions attempt to install new habits on top of old programming. They ask us to automate processes that our system doesn’t yet know how to support.

This is why people have the same year again and again, just with different goals.

If you want change to stick in 2026, don’t start by giving yourself new tasks.

First, focus on upgrading your inner operating system.

You’ve experienced moments when change was easy, and others when it felt impossible.

My guess? That didn’t have as much to do with motivation as you thought.

When I look back at periods in my life where change felt almost effortless, alignment was the common denominator.

I worked incredibly hard to get into McKinsey, but it didn’t feel forced. I set ambitious goals when I worked there, but I wasn’t negotiating with myself every morning to follow through.

Instead, the behavior flowed naturally from who I wanted and believed myself to be.

Contrast that with the way many people learn to approach change.

They choose goals based on what they think they should do.

Then they try to force the new behaviour with pressure, rules, and self-control.

They don’t see themselves as the person who achieves that goal. So it’s a constant fight against resistance, even on the good days. And when life gets busy, the system collapses.

For example, you can tell yourself you want to run a marathon this year.

But if you can’t visualise yourself as someone who runs that marathon, your nervous system will treat the goal as unfamiliar, even unsafe.

Forcing yourself to train might work for a few weeks. But eventually, it won’t be enough. 

Life will get stressful, and your subconscious mind will see training as an easy activity to cut. It treats it like something “extra” in your day that feels unaligned and unrealistic anyway.

When you fall out of routine, you may see it as laziness, but it’s not.

It’s misalignment. 

This is why motivation alone won’t create the lasting change you want.

Here are the 3 key factors that will.

You want to create lasting change in 2026. 

But how do you build the clarity, identity, and energy that make it possible?

Here are 6 steps based on psychological mechanisms that help you to change your life for good.

Step 1: Resolve internal contradictions.

Inside every person is a set of tensions:

- Ambition vs. fear

- Desire vs. guilt

- Expansion vs. comfort

- Future self vs. old identity

- What you want vs. what you think you should want

These contradictions split your focus and drain your energy.

One part of you tries to move forward, while the other applies the brakes.

Until you resolve these conflicts, progress will always feel harder than it has to.

Go inward and work to dissolve those contradictions.

That’s when your system stops fighting itself, and change becomes sustainable.

Step 2: Upgrade the identity driving your behaviour.

All of your actions stem from the person you believe yourself to be:

- You maintain the standards your identity tolerates.

- You pursue the outcomes your identity feels worthy of.

- You sabotage the outcomes that contradict your self-concept.

The transition from: “I want to be consistent”  to “I am someone who follows through”

is deeper than language.

That’s an identity shift you have to make on a neurological level.

Upgrading your identity is how you maintain new habits, even when stressed or distracted.

It’s how the behaviour becomes what it needs to be for lasting change: automatic.

Step 3: Align your environment with the new version of you.

Even the most disciplined people are shaped more by environment than intention.

Your environment includes:

- Physical surroundings

- Social circles

- Digital inputs

- Financial situation

- Daily schedules

- Energetic boundaries

- What you tolerate

Every environmental factor either reinforces the old you or supports the new you.

For lasting change, build an environment that carries you forward even when motivation fades. 

Making necessary adjustments to your environment is the ultimate form of self-compassion. 

It makes the right choice the easy choice.

Step 4: Stabilise your emotional baseline.

When your nervous system is overloaded, you revert to old coping mechanisms and reactions.

This is a matter of human biology. We revert to old wiring because it feels safe, even if it no longer aligns with what we want.

Sustainable change depends on emotional stability, which includes a settled nervous system, fewer reactive spikes, and more groundedness.

A stable emotional baseline gives you the capacity to show up consistently.

Step 5: Create a rhythm rather than rules.

Most New Year’s Resolutions fail because we approach them like strict rules.

Rules may work on perfect days, but they break under pressure. 

Instead, you need a rhythm that’s flexible enough to maintain when life is messy. 

A way to make progress on high and low-capacity days.

Change sticks when you design a minimum viable rhythm.

What would the smallest action toward your goal look like?

Start there and let new behaviours flow naturally with your life.

Step 6: Build momentum through small self-trust wins.

You may not need more discipline at all.

Instead, build self-trust.

Every small follow-through strengthens your identity.

Every small break weakens your belief in yourself.

Give yourself proof that you can build the life you want.

Self-trust is the real foundation of lasting change.

What if your most powerful start to 2026 has nothing to do with intensity or resolutions?

Your only task is to focus on the person you want to be stepping into the new year.

Building the clarity, identity, and energy to have a different experience than 2025.

Change sticks when you start the year with:

- A coherent inner world

- A clear internal direction

- An environment that supports your goals

- An identity aligned with the life you want

- Emotional capacity and calm

You don’t need to push harder to change your life.

With these pieces in place, you simply start being the person who naturally follows through.

You can’t discipline your way through a year.

But you can become the person for whom a new behaviour is natural.

You shouldn’t have to add pressure, intensity, or rules to create lasting change.

Just focus on building a deeper, cleaner alignment with who you want to become.

The version of you who lives the change instead of forces it.

That’s who will make change stick.

If you want support with upgrading your personal operating model, now is a great time to check out The Inner Edge course. It offers guidance and tools that can help you make real, lasting change this year.